{"id":1264,"date":"2018-06-12T15:51:13","date_gmt":"2018-06-12T14:51:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.littlecomets.com\/?p=1264"},"modified":"2018-06-12T15:57:27","modified_gmt":"2018-06-12T14:57:27","slug":"sad-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.littlecomets.com\/sad-news\/","title":{"rendered":"SAD NEWS"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is with a very heavy heart, feet and hands that after 10 years, 4 albums, 200,000 miles, many tours, gigs and countries, people and songs that we have to sadly announce that myself, Mickey and Matt, collectively known as Little Comets, have decided to\u2026.<\/p>\n

SELL<\/p>\n

THE<\/p>\n

VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n

(For \u00a3600 to Matt Saxon\u2019s dad \u2013 apparently he was a very tough negotiator \u2013 get him to get you a home insurance renewal quote before it\u2019s too late, is the word on the street).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hahaha. Sorry about that \u2013 no doubt there will now be some relief\/disappointment that the sentence didn\u2019t carry on as suggested but hey ho\u2026\u2026.. Really I should be ashamed as the van should not be taken lightly, underestimated or used as bait.<\/p>\n

Our little van \u201cDes Zapp\u201d has been in action ever since one unseasonably warm February morning, still high on the quixotic readiness of Major Label Bullshit we skipped down the A19 to Bell\u2019s Van Emporium of Vehicular Wonderment to collect our prize \u2013 a badly converted little White Mercedes Sprinter, since described by an\u00a0International Touring Artist<\/i>\u00a0as \u201cthe most uncomfortable vehicle I have ever been in\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This van had\u00a0none<\/u>\u00a0of the trappings of\u00a0International Touring Vehicles<\/i>\u00a0\u2013 it did not have (and these are all things that come as standard in\u00a0International Touring Vehicles<\/i>) wifi, cruise control, leather seats, carpets, a DVD player (this is starting to sound like a Feeder song), a screen of any sort, aircon, a bunk, comfort, a decent clutch, blacked oot windows, a bigger living area than a loading area* (*so\u2026 most vans-for-bands stack gear vertically in the back to make the use of most of the van for stretching out legs\/having some privacy\/smokin\u2019 weed maaaaaan\/livin\u2019 the dream; but not our van\u2026 whilst our gear could stretch out horizontally in the back, we were as cramped as atoms, sitting on seats made out of what felt like teeth filled sack-cloth).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

What our van did have though was character in abundance \u2013 abusive sun-shades, a removable table \u2013 a removable flipping table!, artwork, a Canadian flag, wallpaper, piss-proof flooring, many mechanical issues, a dreamcatcher, a CD player, a wall of apparent fame, curtains, a Mark Harle set top speed of 96 mph, a bullshit detector, napkins, Little Comets\u2019 Embroidered Blankets, a kettle, bin bags, 2 fire extinguishers, a glass hammer and a full selection of shattered dreams.<\/p>\n

But as in life, the most important aspect of our steel accompaniment was the stories of those who sailed in him\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

THE NIGHT SOMEONE WEE\u2019D IN THE VAN<\/p>\n

\u201cOne night I was sleeping in Des after we\u2019d been hoyed oot of a Travelodge for makkin too much noise like hoo!\u201d said a voice from behind Matt Hall\u2019s facial hair. \u201cIt was ser cold that one of General Fiasco had put on all of their merch T-shirts just to keeps warm. Anyways, I woke up at 2 a clock in tha morning to the sound of what could ernly be described as someone pissing on the floor of the van.\u201d Coughed the hirsute bassist: \u201cA turns roond and w\u2019tour manager Steve Lewthwaite (now a respected\u00a0International Tour Manager<\/i>) was literally weeing on the floor. A sez: Steve man, ya pissin on the floor! Steve said: nar, I\u2019ve erpened the door man like hoo. A sez: nar yer haven\u2019t like hoo. The next day we both agreed he hadn\u2019t and he bought a proper big bottle of toilet duck. On cold nights I can still hear the sound.\u201d<\/p>\n

THE DAY THOM YORKE SAW ME WALLPAPER<\/p>\n

\u201cWhey it must have been Latitude Festival in 2009 like\u201d muttered Rob looking up from a pint of opprobrium. \u201cThe funny thing is we played it when we were a proper not-really-saying-much-aboot-<\/wbr>anything indie guitar band like \u2013 y\u2019knar like how the Kaiser Chefs would sound if they swallowed a dictionary and some pride, y\u2019knar before we developed a sercial conscernce. The irony is that now we are a bit more leftfield they won\u2019t book us cos we\u2019re \u201cnot a Latitude Type Band\u201d. Whateva that means\u2026 not that am bitter or owt like hoo\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyways\u201d stuttered the singer \u201cw\u2019driving oot of the festival with the door open as y\u2019do when you are young and daft and wiv just put some wallpaper on the new van, like the nice textured stuff from Binns in Shields when I see\u2019s this blerk looking in the cab and I shouts \u201chere man, luk at w\u2019waalpaper\u201d. Then Mickey shouted \u201car nar it\u2019s Tom York off Radioheed\u201d, so we shut the van and bolted, cos ye divvent want to look like a muffin in front of Therm Yerke cos we mightn\u2019t have got that Radioheed tour support ya kna. If twitter had been a thing a would have gone on it and apologised to him like but it wasn\u2019t so I just put Amnesiac on and felt even worse about mesell.\u201d<\/p>\n

LOOK WHO\u2019S TORQUE-ING NOW<\/p>\n

\u201cMy favourite memory of the automobile denominated thusly occurred when I read aloud the technical specification manual upon delivery.\u201d proffers Mickey. \u201cI was surprised at the level of torque such a vehicle could produce given the rather large discrepancy in the load-mass base particle ratio. Stunning engineering. Also, I genuinely liked the fact that the white hue of the paint would slightly improve my personal albedo with regards to the amount of solar radiation I reflect on a daily basis, something I feel VERY strongly about\u201d mused the sonically obsessed string picker.<\/p>\n

THE DOG AND THE BAG OF DRUGS<\/p>\n

\u201cBack in the day, when I was still TM\u2019ing for LC, I was in charge of sorting the PDs for the MD, the lampy, and the backline tech; the wedges and ears, the trips, the plus ones, the bus call for the AM, patch the rack and the DIs. But one story always stuck in my mind\u201d said\u00a0International Tour Manager\u00a0<\/i>Leve Stewthwaite, formerly the band\u2019s fashion stylist, security guard and fixer. \u201cWe were getting a ferry from Stranraer to Belfast for a gig when a port police\u00a0man notices our vehicle \u2013 he immediately clocked us as a BAND and was looking to make a BUST! Now most of the boys in the band are clean living guys \u2013 except for Matt Hall who at the time was a *se-ri-ous* stoner. Any chance he got he would hammer home a little bit of ~the weed~ you know. But I knew that even Matt wasn\u2019t stupid enough to try to smuggle contraband in his baggage\u2026 how wrong was I?!\u201d Leve asked to take a break at this point for reputational purposes but we agreed to change his name for the sake of anonymity. \u201cAnyhow\u201d continued Leve \u201cthe officer waddles over to the van with his drugs spaniel and asks us to open the door: \u201cwhich band are you then?\u201d he says as his dog is clearly aroused by a smell from our bass player\u2019s bag. \u201cEr Little Comets\u201d I say. By this point the dog is basically saying: \u201cThere are drugs in this rucksack\u201d, nuzzling Matt\u2019s bag. \u201cAh class\u201d, the officer sprouted \u201cif I go home and get my albums would you sign them\u2026?\u201d. The band nodded nervously, looking at the dog: \u201cAh don\u2019t worry about him\u201d said the PC, \u201che does that all the time!\u201d.. To be honest I don\u2019t know if the band were more surprised at his reaction or the fact that a random member of the public had actually heard of them AND OWNED some of their music – more than one copy at that, I have to say I was quite shocked by that myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

So that\u2019s it really \u2013 we\u2019ll put up some pictures, maybe a video and occasionally share a story of Old Des and his 200,000 miles (which could have hit 300k if the plan to SHIP Des to the USA for touring while we recorded an album on the boat had come off….). Mickey is going to play The Last Post at the start of the next gig, so we would ask if you could remain respectful throughout most of that. And if you ever see DE57ZPP driving\/broken down in a layby near you, make sure you give Matt Saxon\u2019s Dad a friendly toot, or just shout \u201cUp the Spartans!\u201d out of the window.<\/p>\n

Bye bye Des and thanks for the memories.<\/p>\n

Des would like to thank:<\/p>\n

Peter Coles \u2013 his caretaker and friend, Rob, Mickey, Matt Hall, Mark Harle, Steve Lewthwaite, David Greene, Nathan Green, Matt Saxon, Darren Purves, Anis Finn, Matt Walch, Rich Robinson, Louisa Gladwin, Paul Winton, Matt Lewis, Christine Coles, Hockey, The Noisettes, The Twang, Darwin Deez, The 1975 (The Big Sleep, The Slowdown, Drive Like I Do), General Fiasco,\u00a0Catfish and the Bottlemen, just Delphic, Deastro, The Crookes, Model Aeroplanes, Eliza and the Bear, Hippocampus, The Pigeon Detectives, Gomez, High Tyde, Mattie Vant and the rest..<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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